Roam Around Your Subconscious

[Patch]

[[September 8th, just after the day's classes have ended. Closed to myself and Cadpig.]]

"Cadpig?"

He figured the library was as good a place as any to start looking for his littlest sister. Sky-blue tie trailing behind him as always - though he'd finally mastered the art of not stepping on it when he walked - Patch padded through the aisles of books, reminded idly that this had been the exact same place he'd first met Angel, four days ago now. It was funny how he felt as though he'd already known the pomeranian for much longer than that. In fact, that was pretty much the reason why the dalmatian who looked as though he sported a permanent black eye was seeking Cadpig out; and since the runt of their litter had always been bookwormish, Patch couldn't think of a single place in the school where he'd be more likely to find her.

He'd been a little surprised when he had learnt that she was here at all; but he'd glimpsed her in passing once or twice lately, and in her case, Patch was actually glad she was present. He felt like he needed some advice - romantic advice - and the male dal was hard-pressed to imagine anyone else he could have gone to, besides his incredibly knowledgeable little sister. And so, Patch was here, wandering back and forth amongst bookshelves as he sought her.

After a few minutes of fruitless searching, it belatedly occured to Patch to try the psychology section. Though he wouldn't pretend he understood any of it, Patch knew that Cadpig had always been in to that sort of thing; if he was going to find her anywhere in the library, it would probably be there.

[Cadpig]

Patch wasn't too far off in guessing where Cadpig might have been. She'd positioned herself atop a pile of psychology books and was reading one she'd pulled out for reference. Her aim had originally been to finish up psychology homework for the night, but the runt found herself successfully distracted by just reading about the content in later chapters. Her tail was whipping back and forth about as gleefully as could be as she read about the different portions of the brain and what they were meant to do. How they were linked to different parts of psychology and all... It was just fascinating.

"Cadpig?"

Cadpig raised her head from the book and blinked a couple of times. That sounded like... But was Patch really there? She hadn't been all that certain of how many of their brothers and sisters had come along for the ride. Lucky, Two-Tone, and Elijah she knew for sure were there, but Patch she hadn't expected or seen a lot of recently. Hearing his voice was all the confirmation the tiny dalmatian needed for whether or not he was there, though. Cadpig tossed her overly long, dark blue tie over her shoulder and leaped down from the book pile. When she did, she saw her brother approaching.

"Patch! Hey! I didn't know you were here," Cadpig said. Some sister she was, right? Cadpig had just been so preoccupied by the classes and the love she had for education that she hadn't noticed who was there and who wasn't at times. But what on earth could Patch have been looking for her for? It wasn't as though she was all that great. Lucky was Mister Popular for some reason, Two-Tone was pretty, and Elijah... Okay, Cadpig didn't know a lot about him still. All Cadpig really could say was that she was smart. Did Patch need help with homework, maybe?

"So, what can I do for you, brother dear?"

[Patch]

"I didn't know you were here until yesterday, either." Patch shrugged slightly as he padded up to Cadpig and her giant pile of books, his eyes widening slightly as he took them in. Did she really intend to get through all those? For Patch - who was a moderate reader, although he hadn't put the extensive effort into it that Cadpig had - that seemed like it would be an incredible chore to get through; but if it made her happy to have such a mountain of words to plow through, then he wasn't going to call her out on it. Though they'd never spent vast amounts of time together, Patch had always liked Cadpig - and occasionally had even looked upon her in a protective manner - so he was glad she was enjoying herself, regardless of it not being a form of enjoyment that he could understand.

As well as her massive book pile, Patch also couldn't help but notice the way Cadpig wore her tie thrown back over her shoulder. Apparently, he hadn't been the only one who'd had trouble with the thing getting underfoot.

"I could use some advice, actually." The male dropped to his rear upon reaching his sister's side and looked down at her. She was the smartest of their family, without a doubt, and so Patch was sure she'd know exactly what to suggest for him. The larger dal pawed at his shirt collar for a moment, pondering where to start his request, and quickly came to the conclusion that a brief explanation was probably in order.

"See, I met a girl here, a few days ago. She's really nice, and special, and pretty... and we've been spending time together, and she thinks I'm special too. I'd like to have a- a serious relationship with her, but I just don't know where to start. Or if it's too forward to want that." His brow furrowed slightly at that thought, and he looked a little pitiful as he continued to regard Cadpig. Even though he didn't voice it aloud, Patch's request was clear; he was hoping Cadpig could advise him on where next to take matters with relation to Angel.

[Cadpig]

Cadpig couldn't help noticing how Patch was looking at the books she'd amassed. A giggle followed and she decided to assure him that she didn't intend to read every single one.

"These are just something I could sit on. I really was just reading this one for a class I'm taking," Cadpig explained as she gestured to the open book. Not long after explaining this much, though, Patch answered her question. This caused Cadpig's eyes to widen a bit and a little gasp to escape her. Her brother was in love? He'd found himself a pretty little dog and had a crush on her! Oh, this pleased Cadpig greatly. She'd always thought that Patch would find someone sooner or later, but the idea still surprised her somehow. Patch, her brother, was in love with someone! She just couldn't get over it! But... What did he want her help for? Maybe... Guidance? Or was this the perfect opportunity to put what she'd been learning to practice.

"Oh, Patch, that's wonderful! Say no more. I'm going to help you through this no matter what it takes. But first..." Cadpig paused there and turned her attention back to her books. She was going to need those, but no longer as a perch. Instead, she started to move them and set them out as a sort of couch. Yes, that would do. It probably wasn't going to be the most comfortable of places for Patch to lay down, but it would do.

"Okay. Now, I need you to lay down here. Then, we can begin," Cadpig said. She pulled a pair of glasses out from her uniform pocket and proceeded to put them on. This may not have been at all what Patch had been asking for, but Cadpig was rolling with it.

[Patch]

Though Patch's tail wagged hopefully at Cadpig's enthusiastic determination to help him with his would-be relationship, the male dal looked a little puzzled as she began shifting her books around, and even more so when he was asked to lie down on the makeshift couch she'd made. Nonetheless, Patch obliged, climbing onto the books and twisting around into as comfortable a position as he could manage while lying on his back atop the tomes. Once he finally felt as though he had found one that wasn't too bad, Patch allowed himself to relax a bit more. His tie was draping off one side of his chest, and the dal took a moment to smooth it back into place before he looked back at Cadpig.

She'd balanced a pair of half-moon glasses on her nose, and Patch had to wonder for half a moment what he'd got himself into. They weren't reading glasses; he'd seen her buried in a book without them on plenty of times before, so her reasons behind wearing them now remained a mystery to the larger pup. At length, however, Patch decided it probably wasn't worth asking about. He trusted his sister; even if he didn't understand quite how this was meant to help, she had to know what she was doing.

"Now what?" he queried instead. Should he just... keep on talking about Angel? While he felt he could have done that easily enough, Patch figured that he was better off letting Cadpig take the lead; she'd ask him questions as and when it became relevant, right?

[Cadpig]

Now what, indeed. It had been a while since Cadpig had actually gotten to try out her psychology know-how on anyone in particular. Really, she was using Patch's asking for her assistance as a springboard to get in additional practice. That would have to get her some extra credit for sure! ...Not that she expected the teacher to particularly care, but still. Seeing Patch positioned just so on the makeshift couch of books pleased the runty dalmatian greatly. Now they really could get started. First, though, Cadpig had to bring a paw to her chin and think about just how to answer his query.

"Now, to get things started... Why don't you tell me about how you feel when you're around this girl. This... What did you say her name was?" Cadpig asked. She took a moment to take out a pencil and a tiny notebook, and she tucked the pencil behind her ear so it would be easily accessed if she needed it. She'd only just realized that she didn't know what the name of the girl Patch had fallen for even was. That would have to be remedied as soon as possible.

At the very least, Cadpig would get some extra practice with her studies. Patch would just have to be an unwilling guinea pig.

[Patch]

"Angel." Patch couldn't stop the smile that slipped across his muzzle as he spoke her name. How the little pomeranian had come to mean so much to him so quickly - especially when their relationship had essentially started off by yanking on each others' ties - was quite beyond the male; but he certainly wasn't complaining at all. There was just... something about Angel, beyond her looks and her outward attitude and even her difficult past, that Patch had found he had managed to unearth, and had come to fall completely in love with.

"Well, it makes me feel... really warm inside when I spend time with her. I mean in a pleasant way. When we're together, I feel like there's nothing I'd rather do than stay with her, like I'd do anything for her. It makes me happy to just be with her and to be making her happy." His cheeks tinged pink as he voiced it aloud, but even in spite of the slight flush, Patch looked possibly in the highest spirits Cadpig would have ever seen him. Not even watching Thunderbolt had the power to make the young dalmatian feel as good as Angel did. In that regard, it was probably a good thing that Cadpig had asked Patch about his feelings for Angel, rather than about Angel herself; if the latter had been the case, the male probably would have been unstoppable as he enthused over the canine who he found nothing less than absolutely stunning. Or he might just have siezed up without a clue as to how explain the level of perfection he saw in her; one was just as likely as the other.

Patch continued to paw at the end of his tie absently as he looked at Cadpig, wondering if he'd said enough or if she'd continue prompting him.

[Cadpig]

"Ah... l'amore. How sweet it is. You've been struck by Cupid's arrow, Patch. Like a bolt from the blue," Cadpig said. Her tail whipped back and forth and a dreamy little sigh escaped her. The way Patch talked about how he felt around Angel just made her heart sing. It was just like in those cheesy romance movies she caught glimpses of when Roger and Anita had been together and watching TV back home. But how else did Patch feel about her? This Angel did sound wonderful, at least for Patch, but what was it about her that made him feel this way? Cadpig had to dig deeper.

"What is it about her that makes you feel like this, though? There has to be something about her in particular. Tell me... What is it that really makes your heart soar when you're around her? The way she moves? Her voice? The funny little way she does things? I mean... If there is a strange way she does thing. Whoops. Was that judgmental?" Cadpig asked. She really didn't know. Hell, she hardly knew anything about Angel at all. Patch was giving her that much information as well as a look into who he was... How he was feeling, too. It was a psychologist's dream! Cadpig just felt like she had to keep pressing him for information. Maybe she could slowly get to the chance to look more into what was going on in his head. Maybe there was some insecurity about himself that led him to feel comfort around Angel?

...Or was she looking too deeply into things already? Oh well. Only time would tell for sure.

[Patch]

"I suppose I have, yeah," It hadn't escaped Patch's notice how lovestruck he must have been sounding as he talked about Angel, and he was sure that Lucky and Rolly and the rest of his brothers would probably have laughed in his face if he'd confessed to any of them that he was head-over-paws for the pomeranian. Fortunately for him, however, Cadpig could be much more understanding and sensitive, at least when the mood struck her - and apparently at present, it had. Patch stretched out on the uncomfortable couch of books, feeling a bit more at ease as Cadpig continued to question him.

"Well... it's all of that, and more. She's beautiful anyway; and then there's..." Patch fumbled for a moment. How could he even find the words to describe what it was that made him love Angel? It was her attitude, the way she played it so tough but underneath was playful and sensitive; it the little ways she teased him, like when she'd caught him in the middle of accidentally rucking up his uniform; it was the tone of her voice and the sound of her laughter, which were both so perfect to his ears; it was the touch of her paws against his fur, the roughness of her paw-pads that belied the tenderness of her touch and the way that touch always sent electric tingles down his spine...

It was the way she thought he was special, and sweet, and truly one-of-a-kind.

And not even all of that covered it fully.

"She's amazing," he finally settled on at length. "She gives off this impression of being closed off and tough, and I suppose she is because she's had a really hard life. But she's also really gentle and caring and kind beneath that; the first time we met, she helped me out when I made a mess of my tie." He looked a little sheepish at that confession, and pawed at his current knot for a moment, but pressed on regardless. "I- I think she likes me as well, because she's been really open with me, and I get the impression she doesn't let anyone else get close to her at all. But she- she thinks I'm special. And she's playful and fun, and her touch is amazing, and when she laughs..."

He gave a small sigh of contentment. To Patch's eye, Angel was as good as perfect; and even the parts of her that others might have seen as flaws were, to him, just little quirks that did nothing to diminish his love for her.

[Cadpig]

"Uh-huh... I see," Cadpig said. She removed her pencil from where it had been tucked and jotted down some notes. Clearly, this Angel just had a way of making Patch feel really special. It also sounded as though just about everything about her was perfect to him from the way she looked to the very bottom of her personality. Really, Cadpig almost kind of envied him. He'd managed to find love in the school already, and Cadpig hadn't really been looking. ...Okay, so she wasn't looking at all. She didn't even expect something to happen. Still, she had encountered Tripod earlier that day and helped him out. Maybe... No. Cadpig shouldn't just assume like that. She also needed to keep her head in the game. Patch had come to her for help, and she wasn't about to leave him high and dry in that regard.

"So she makes you feel really special and thinks you're special, too," Cadpig murmured. Why was that? Didn't Patch see his own uniqueness that was about him? Cadpig had to wonder about that much. As far as she was aware, her brother did stand out a bit... But even she knew the difficulties of getting swallowed by a sea of spots. Her difficulties came more from trying to find peace and the like, though. Rather than addressing that much, though, Cadpig decided to tackle the issue head-on.

"Why do you think that is, Patch? Don't you think you're special, too?" she asked. Maybe that was the root of it. If Cadpig could get to that much, then maybe she would have a clearer idea of what it was that made her brother tick. Truthfully, she hadn't been paying all that much attention to whether or not he'd felt special back home. All Cadpig had been aware of was the fact that the sea of spots was more than a little constricting at times. Maybe if she kept pressing at it, though, Cadpig would see the root of the problem for herself.

...So much for advice on what to do next with a girl he loved.

[Patch]

"Well, I..."

Patch blinked at the question, the instinctively defensive answer he'd been about to blurt dying on his tongue. Whether she realised it or not, Cadpig had hit right on the mark; but somehow, Patch didn't really feel as though he wanted to confess as much. He had Angel's reassurance that he was indeed special, and if she could see it, then the dal felt more inclined to believe it; wasn't that enough? He didn't really want to sound as though he was seeking the same comfort from Cadpig as well; still, he didn't really feel as though he could lie to her.

"I guess... I don't really know. Back at home, I never did after all the others joined us. I just felt like another one of a hundred-and-one. I mean, I know every Thunderbolt episode by heart, but really... I don't exactly stand out back there. I'm just another pup, no-one really..." He stared down at his stomach, fidgeted uncomfortably with his tie as it rested there. Apparently, even after Angel's words, there was still more lingering doubt than Patch had realised; perhaps with more and more time spent in her presence, it would go away completely, but for now it still stubbornly clung on in his mind.

"But Angel thinks I really am one-of-a-koind, and I believe her," he added after a moment. It wasn't much, perhaps, but Patch had no doubts at all about Angel's sincerity when she'd said that, and if she believed it, then that really was good enough for him. He might still feel lost in a sea of spots once he got back home, and maybe even a bit here if their siblings kept showing up - but knowing that Angel could pick him out from amongst that sea, even if no-one else could, was plenty enough reassurance for the little dalmatian.

[Cadpig]

That was it! They definitely were making progress with this little session. The more Patch spoke, the further they got with determining what Patch's subconscious thoughts were and the more likely it was that she could help him. Her tail resumed wagging and she nodded eagerly as Patch finished speaking.

"I see, I see... I think we're really getting somewhere with this! You feel the way you do around Angel because she makes you feel like you aren't just a part of a crowd. You don't have to worry about whether or not you're just one of a big group. You're unique to her. She makes you feel that certain warm, fuzzy, special feeling that comes with falling in love," Cadpig gushed. She leaned back and put a paw against the top of her forehead, and after a moment she sighed as though it was the most dreamy thing in the world. The fact that she was getting to help Patch through his issues was very cathartic. Who else would she have gotten to help if not him? No one, at least as far as she knew. Rolly was back home and Lucky just had ego issues. Patch was the best thing she was going to get unless other dogs decided to volunteer to be her patients.

"There has to be more to this, though. What else is there about her? Does she make you feel as though you've found your other half? Someone that gives you purpose?" Cadpig asked. She didn't really know what she'd get from that much, but it was something.

[Patch]

Patch looked hopeful as Cadpig confirmed that they were actually getting somewhere. In truth, he couldn't quite see how Cadpig knowing the details of his insecurities was going to help him with winning Angel's heart; but at the same time, Patch didn't really want to question it. His little sister was clearly in her element, and she had to know what she was doing; just because he couldn't see what good her last line of enquiry was didn't mean a lot in the end. Maybe it had some relevance that he couldn't see, so he'd just let her continue asking the questions, and he'd keep on answering as best he could.

"Yes, that's it." The male gave a nod as Cadpig continued, essentially summing up what he'd just been thinking. He didn't even care if everyone else thought he just blended into the crowd anymore, not really; to Angel, he stood out, and that meant plenty enough to him. He felt like he had to have been the luckiest pup alive to have been singled out by a girl as stunning in both looks and personality as her.

Again, a thoughtful expression crossed Patch's face as Cadpig continued her questioning. He was starting to feel as though he was the one under examination, rather than the relationship itself; again, however, the patched dal held his tongue about that much.

"I think so. Yes," he answered instead as he rolled onto his side in order to better face Cadpig - and to get away from the corner of one of the books making up his couch that had been jabbing him uncomfortably in the back of the neck. He might not have really thought of it in those terms until she had mentioned it, but yes; he did feel as though Angel completed him in a way he hadn't even realised he had been missing before he'd met her. The certain specialness to her, the way he wanted to protect her from harm and strife above all else, wanted to make every day be the best he possibly could for her... was that what Cadpig meant by giving him a purpose? He figured it probably wasn't quite; but without any clearer idea of what she had been getting at, it was the best answer he had.

"I feel like my purpose is to give her the best life possible. She's had a lot of difficulties in life already, she used to live on the streets with a dog who called her his girl but didn't care about her at all, so I... I want to show her what it's like to have someone who's not like that. Someone who'd do anything to make her happy."

[Cadpig]

As Patch spoke, Cadpig nodded thoughtfully and considered just what all he was saying. He wanted to make Angel feel special, and that was because the girl apparently had had a very difficult life up until that point. Cadpig hadn't even asked to know that much, but her brother had decided to divulge that information to her regardless of that fact. She couldn't help feeling somewhat happy about that much. But, drawing herself away from inquiring as to what went on inside Patch's head, Cadpig wondered how to go about furthering the relationship between her brother and Angel. The obvious route was for him to be himself, but what if that didn't... Wait, no. She was getting herself wrapped up in romance movies again. Cadpig had to clear her thoughts before that sort of advice started to take over.

"It sounds to me like you're already doing the right thing as it is. She likes you for who you are, right?" she asked. That much seemed obvious to Cadpig. If he started acting like someone he wasn't, it could only succeed in repelling Angel from him. Patch wouldn't want that now, would he? Surely he wouldn't. Cadpig had to do everything in her power to make sure that that much didn't happen. Instead, she turned her thoughts to what it was Patch could do to make Angel feel special.

"Well, if she already does like you as you are, then you should focus on making her feel as special as you want her to. Let her know that she's someone special! Not just with your words, but with your actions. Treat her like a..a A... Does 'princess' sound a bit much?" Cadpig asked. She didn't necessarily want Patch to get carried away in how he was going to treat Angel. After all, there was such a thing as too much lavishing. She returned her pencil to its spot behind her ear and decided to suggest something else. Or rather, she would suggest the next thing after Patch had answered her. More than anything, Cadpig wondered if he thought that treating her like a princess would be too much. After all, Angel was special to him. He had to let her know that through his actions as well as his words.

[Patch]

In spite of Cadpig's potential reservations on the subject, like a princess didn't sound like too much to Patch at all. Angel was incredibly special to him, special in a way beyond words, and the young dalmatian was already sure that he would do anything within his power to make sure she felt just as special as he saw her as. How to do that however, aside from in the small gestures he was already trying to treat her to, was something of a different matter entirely. Sure, he could be kind and polite and (at least according to her) sweet around her, and help her out with tasks, and all the rest of that. But that didn't seem to amount to very much, in the end. He would have given her everything, if he could; but truth be told, Patch wasn't really a dog with vast means. Extravagant gifts were out, even if he had known exactly what he could have got her in the first place. Rather than admitting this, however, the male chose a different track to pursue.

"I wasn't sure if that might be a bit too soon," he confessed after a moment. As much as he wanted to follow his sister's advice and treat Angel as she suggested, he had known her less than a week at this point. Would it she take it as him making a move far too soon if he tried to shower her with gifts and gestures of affection already? He thought she might be able to like him romantically too, it was true, but... he didn't imagine that could happen yetawhile, and he didn't want to rush the process.

"I don't want her to think I'm moving in on her too quickly." He raised a hind paw and allowed himself a scratch - gently, so as not to ruck his uniform again - before he turned his attention back to Cadpig. "I want to let her know how I feel, but not like I'm trying to force myself onto her. How do I find the balance there?"